All I want is...

Its been fun thinking about my dream house over the past year (hence my small accumulation of house pics posted here) but now that our house is sold and its actually time to choose the next one, it proves to be a precarious process. Is it really too much to ask for a small wooded acreage with a long winding drive way, garage, workshop, and situated by a creek or pond, not too far out of town, with a charming old farmhouse that is in new condition and large enough for homeschool but not too big, with a greenhouse and barn and wood burning stove and high ceilings and lots of built in bookshelves? My parents have deserted us- well our house sold on such short notice that they couldn't have known- but nevertheless, they are on the other side of the world, literally, and we've needed them endlessly since they left. My dad gave me three pages of notes to study on his way to the airport and my mom gave me me needed peptalks on house shopping and design, and after that Tim and I were on our own (well I guess thats not all true, we did still have Tobin our brilliant and thorough advisor). But, the learning curve has been significantly steep which has been good for us. Dragging kids around house shopping was fun the first 25 times, but things went down hill since and the next thing I knew I was passing Mr Big bars around the car!! I will never recover from that. Anyways, we have found several acreages we like and made several offers but nothing has panned out for us yet. Its really emotionally draining. My heart can't take the excitement followed by the breaking much longer. I am trying to not care so much, what's a house anyway? At the end of the day its just a house. Right? But then I realize its where I spend 22 hours of my day and where most of kids' memories will be located. Then my heart gets attached again, followed by the torturous waiting and then nothing.